11th May 2005

Well this morning I learnt something...save your blog on your own drive before trying to save it on blogger.com - only because, in the unlikely event of it being the first time you have blogged and they happen to be doing work on the web, all your thoughts and explanations will deblogged very quickly!

Very quick update....

Becca been sick the last 3 days and now, having turned the corner, is sitting watching Bambi (ahhh bless - and she didn't cry when the mother died! - I have bred a heartless child!) on the sofa in her sleeping bag!

I have muffins in the oven (Oh, m'God - she's turned kiwi!) - ready for Louisa who is playing netball (Oh, m'God - she's turned kiwi!) and will be returning soon with lovely Aussie friends.

And have just discovered I can't save it - so will have to publish as I go!

Being English, better update you on the weather! Well, when I typed this morning, I gloated about how blue and cloudless the sky was - this afternoon, it is rather overcast and very definitely Autumnal. Have had great summer tho. Started on Jan 10th (the day I went back to work after Christmas!!!) and has continued, pretty much uninterupted since then!

So, what news? well, 7 months on from the 'big split', we're all doing ok. Becca seems completely ok with everything. Very pragmatic - kind of "Mummy loves me, Daddy loves me - and they live in different places" - but I guess that is the bonuses of being 6! Hopefully she will continue to view the situation in the same way until she is at least 94! She's just started recorder - never practices, but doesn't sound too bad. Is very good at gymnastics and is trying to emulate big sister, by starting netball - she has her first proper game on Saturday and told me today that she is always in trouble for travelling! Oops - think that might be described as cheating!

Booie (as in Lou - don't ask me how we got to Booie - nothing to do with me!) is pretty much ok - but is 9 and so has taken John and I splitting a bit harder. Had been completely fine till a few weeks ago, but recently she has been quite difficult and having had a long chat, think we have discovered that she is quite cross with both me and John. Hoping to sort out some counselling - for the two of us together cos I don't think it would do any harm for her to start being able to articulate how she feels - plus, could do with the two of us talking more and shouting less! That said, by and large Lou is still Lou - still a lovely kind, happy little thing. Big love is netball, but also getting into music - and can often be found dancing in the middle of the living room, pretending to sing her heart out in front of a crowd of thousands!!!

Me? Had got very fit and lovely, until John left (oh how convenient to blame him for everything!!!). Am now feeling very fat again - and am assured by Sue (friend from GSG who was over in April) - that I look exactly the same as I did when we left the UK! - Not sure when I will be getting 'back on the wagon' - but will have to be soon or I will have undone all last years good work. At one stage I actually was the proud owner of some rather stunning abs - sadly they were hidden by a layer of fat - but I knew they were there!! Have become a rather evangelical walker in the last couple of years - and have gym membership - which despite lack of babysitting husband is still getting fairly well used - unfortunately, so is the fridge! But hey!!

Other than that, I'm doing ok. Discovered with all the messy stuff that I am quite a resilient soul. Found out that I am better at getting on with it all than wingeing - although local friends may tell you different! And funnily enough, although I miss the 4 of us being together as a family, I find that I don't actually miss John that much. Think that might have something to do with the fact that the person I loved, wasn't the person who left - if that makes sense - don't know when the person I loved went - but he doesn't seem to be around anymore.

My work is ok. Doing more hours to earn a bit more so that the girls and I don't need to move until we want to. Also looking at doing an employment law course and some other HR based stuff, so that eventually (probably 2 years before I retire!!) I may have a career rather than a job!

Haven't met anyone else yet. Not that bothered for a long while. Suspect I may not. And if I do, suspect it will be someone I meet through a friend and know for ages before anything happens. Have discovered that life is ok - just with me and my girls - actually that is an understatement - much more than ok. Still loving it!

And no, not coming back to UK. Girls are settled - and eventually I am too, despite everything - still love my view of Rangitoto off the back deck. Still love the beach being 5 minutes away - still love everything about this place - except that fact that most of the people I love are not here! (anyone fancy immigrating?! - please?!)

OK - sorry first blog has been burbly - now you are up with the general blurb - will try and update regularly so that when I e-mail you, it is just little stuff and I know that you know where to find the proper news!! Will see if I can work out how to put pictures on too - but may be a bit advanced for me!

hugs xx