And so it Goes, and so it Goes….

I was going to do bullet points and can’t remember what they were!!

Mark’s in the Naki this weekend – so let’s start there.

- First time back on the bus yesterday! And the bigness of that is only that I can do driving, but not on the motorway! But here I was getting home from work all on my own!

- Boy in Naki – house quiet – not used to being just me! Stayed up last night watching rubbish tv – but not going to bag it!! It’s not a bad thing!! Although fell asleep on the sofa and bed late for no good reason!

- Messed up my meds early in the week – again had fallen asleep on the sofa (I miss Mark being in bed, what can I tell you!!) any way – missed my last two pills – and I have been waiting for the repercussions which have not yet arrived! I would like to talk to my neurologist about it – but that won’t be till February!......

- Since then – my legs have been Thursday Iffy – Friday and today, good – like on a 1-10 scale where 10 is normal – they’ve been a solid 6 or 7!!

- Is it the gym?

- Is it the missed pills?

- Is it the steroids and other 96 pills doing their thing?

- Gym John is good! He’s been working with my core (which I’d forgotten I had!) and other balance stuff – off the step – pistol squat to a bench – more of the backwards walking, rowing etc…. Mark is bored of the gym programme run down – which is kind of normal!! Had it all before, heard it all before – Lisa still not gym queen!!

- Met two people at the gym this morning who know my wee girl Becs. Not surprising but I liked that she came to the gym with me a bit this morning.

- Office at work currently in the middle of a decorate your work space for Christmas competition. My team doing a gingerbread house – we are next door to Grinchland and, by the window an Elffy space in HR land! - As you walk into the office, it does look a little bit like Christmas threw up everywhere! There are more Christmas trees than at the Christmas tree farm – and I’m fairly sure that by December 18 either one of the trees, or me will be fatally felled by my dodgy balance!!

- Also office news, the bank manager will have noticed that the café is now back as a place that I can get to and get back from. There are a couple of stops on the way as my cramps and burns and pins and needles attack me half was down the hill – but it’s doable. Little bit confused by the drop foot to be fair – and now I also get burns across my back dimples!

- Currently 5.17pm on Saturday – peeing down with rain, Christmas lights on in kitchen, where I’m sitting! Hydrangeas are enjoying the rain! Sadly, the wreath on the door is not getting the benefit!

- Wreath on the door, I hear you cry!! Isn’t that a little early Lisa? Well yes!! There was a wreath making class. I went with a friend, hers was stunning and In fairness she should be running a wreath making business. Mine is fine – the florist said that she liked ‘simple' and I'm not sure quite what to take from that! She also said that all the foliage would either dry well or would be fine till Christmas if we watered the oasis. It turns out that watering a hanging up oasis is harder than you’d think – and actually my oak is not going to last till Christmas!!

- That said – Wreath is on the door!! I’m fairly sure that at some point I will report that wreath has fallen off the door!! A bit like the falling over tree!! I think that next year I will spend the wreath making class money on buying a wreath – maybe my friend will make me one!!!

- Haven’t showered yet after Gym. Have barely got our of car, truth be told. I really would like to just not work and live in a world where I could go really slow and listen to music all day!

- New girl starting work on Monday – Welcome for her Monday morning. Brownie baked, Flapjack baking! At some point I will venture out to the lemon tree and then make 2 lemon cakes! One of which will please Mark’s Mum in the morning and one which will also come to work as welcome Kai for my new lass!

- It is very wet. The trip to the lemon trees is not looking very pleasant!

- Billy Joel currently doing his thing – took Becs to see him end of 2022 – turned out she only knew the tracks on one Greatest Hits album (I’m guessing it was two volume and she only had one!) anyway! … she didn’t know Italian Restaurant. However she knows every word to We Didn’t Start the Fire – and Vienna (not the Midge Ure version) is her theme song – and if it’s not it should be!

- Flapjack alarm just went off – flapjack oven too cool – flapjack looking like a swimming pool of I’m not actually sure what. Regardless it’s in for at least another 25 mins!

- Loobs has been doing Christmas shopping and was surprised when I sent her a bunch of internet links. these are the links whichi I have restrained myself from using. After Christmas I will be able to clean in nooks and crannies never imagined. I will have unpillied jumpers and will be very excited with roll up camping lights!

- Some of you may remember that I got a little over excited internet shopping during my hospital stay. E.g. at present I have 3 bags of returns and only one is from a reputable source (M&S)(And why on earth would you buy a shirt with poofy sleeves at the moment, Percy!? NOTHING needs looking big right now! Not even the space around your elbow / shoulder etc!! NOTHING!! )

- SHEIN – Yeah – you kind of get what you pay for. If you spend $100 on 6 dresses – you are going to send at least 4 of them back – and you’ll keep the other 2 out of desperation!

- Invisibra thing…. Initially I bought 1 sticky bra. They charged me and sent me 3 – it’s been very very complicated sending them back to NYC. As such I have 3 sticky bras that are unlikely to fit for at least a year! They sent me a replacement for the original actual one I wanted… It is a size I have not worn since breast feeding my daughters and still it is somehow too small! I’m now horrified. My current bras cannot continue much longer – towards the end of each work day it’s doubtful whether breath or life will continue! - Probably should get new undies too. BUT I resent buying things that I don’t want to buy. And that predictably I will either grow out of as the Steroids continue to expand my girth – OR I have stabilised / I eventually get a hold of things and I start getting smaller!! (oh for the day!)

- Peonies still gorgeous!

- Flapjacks are now to be sticky overcooked flapjacks! Feel free to rename!

- And Ann – you will love that I have done some Christmas shopping today!! Be impressed at organised Percy!!

And finally. So this morning I journalled with a pen and paper. For those of you who want more of my drivel and who have the patience to decipher my handwriting - or who know my writing of old, this was my laptopless journalling.

Here’s the thing – I’m ok. The ups and downs are shocking. The ups are so relentlessly unreliable that I barely have a chance to enjoy them before swooping into the next downer! I’m really aware of the importance of all the drugs. And despite being crap at them, I’m getting better (!) and I will do exactly what the doctors tell me to until such time as I finally get to meet my neurologist and ask the 4 million questions.

I know it’s early. I know it will get better. But this was me armed with a pen on my ownsome - without my laptop after every one had left.

It’s kind of wondering and wishings.

Have to say I realllllly do want a round of Christmas chilly drinks. I’m not used to being quite so sober for quite so long!! I miss being with people I feel comfortable enough with to just sit and drink wine!

I think it’s now 13 weeks (3 months) since diagnosis and life in some parts is getting more normal. I’m having this whole unsupervised weekend! I can bake, and gym and walk and stuff!

Anyway – prize for anyone who can read the parts of my writing that I can’t!!!!

Love you bit time. Huge hugs. May your Saturday be sunnier, but as nice as mine has actually been.

Big snogs xx

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Hydrangeas.

 Hydrangeas.

You may have noticed that I’ve not titled this post after my NMO diagnosis. 11 weeks ago if you’re interested – but I figure, it now just is!

Things to comment on currently:

Hydrangeas!

It’s already that time of year and my hydrangeas are starting to pop. Fairly sure I have ‘banged’ on about this before – but having managed to prune my hydrangeas between hospital visits, I’m so excited for them to be blossoming in such numbers. All three bushes and the white one (yes I’ve definitely banged on previously!) are absolutely spewing forth. As is the bush next to the dairy that I regularly nip in to ask if I can steal some of their flowers… and they let me!

This means one of several things:

- Spring is definitely here.

- Christmas is oh so very round the corner.

- All our fans are in the basement, which is completely the wrong part of the house!

- And I don’t have enough summer tents to wear!

- Plus Mark is going to hate me when I ask him to Christmas decs – but it’s either that, or me on a ladder, and I can’t see that being allowed!

Amazing that all these things are related to hydrangeas. Pictures will be posted imminently!!

Gym!!

There was a moment when I wasn’t sure I was ever going to get back to the gym. My membership is still on pause at my usual gym BUT Becs has pointed in me in the direction of a local gym where the owner deals with, amongst other things, rehabilitation and functional fitness. So it is that three times this week I have donned my trainers and my oh so tight sports bra and done 3 sets of 15 on leg presses and rowers, face pulls and wall push ups. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed getting my body to move. And it was the first time since July that my legs felt like my own legs. The joy of moving and pushing and of feeling totally safe – nowhere to fall, nothing to walk into – it was fabulous! I’m not fixed yet, but it will help. I’ve barely moved in 10 weeks and to move was just glorious!

Balance is still all over the place. Veering right with alarming consistency and had thought it was me favouring the right with my right foot – but on closer inspection, it appears that my right is just correcting the left foot doing the over righting! Either way there are exercises to do both in the gym and at home!

Alcohol

Mmmm – consumed for the first time since July 25th. Work Christmas party was on Friday. We partied on a boat in the Waitematā harbour and the expectation was for a sunny day with dancing, drink and lunch. In the event, it absolutely, chucked it down with rain and the sunshiny dancing ended up being inside and shuffly on carpet! There was some debate as to whether I should attend. My team at work said yes – and just stay sat down. Mark said no, you’ll fall down and be out at sea. Soph said, go but don’t drink. I defied the advice of Mark and Soph, who should know me better than to tell me not to do something!! I went, I drank, I stood up a little bit and survived unscathed.

Whilst on steroids, alcohol is now to be consumed only with food, only in limited quantities and only in safe spaces, cause I’m probably going to get drunk really quick!!

It also turns out that it messes with what my meds do, at some level too – and it messes with how I feel about that as well!! I will be doing some further tests, but for now, drinking is off the agenda… maybe… I haven’t tried Pimms yet!

Steroids

No one warned me quite how long or quite how brutal steroids were going to be! This morning at an MS social I was told by more than one person that steroids really f*ck you up, but it’s temporary.

So that would be useful information!

I’m now given to understand that they are the thing that mucks about with your brain, your sleep and the roller coaster of emotions too! That would allllll have been good information before going on them!

Someone should also have said, very early in the piece – “you’re going to put on a sh*t ton of weight REALLLLY quickly – so maybe stop eating the fudge!” – OMG – I literally cannot buy clothes fast enough! Never have I felt so fat – never have I been so fat! – never have I felt so unattractive in my whole life. I know it’s temporary but just OMG!

Also interesting to know the different cultural responses to such speedy and prolific weight gain! So many lovely friends and family have told me how lovely I’m looking. My general response has been, I’m not but thank you. However, a girl who I work with regularly and who I adore, just asked me what drugs I was on because I’d put on so much weight and my face was so fat! If I’d have been drinking tea, I’d have spat it out!

Summer

It’s going to be hot – and I’m not quite sure how to navigate that. My hair is going to be a shocker. I’m going to sweat horrifically. I’m not entirely looking forward to it! Maybe my nook will continue to have dappled shade and I will manage to find my only little piece of heaven!

Family

Mark’s brother is over – they are going to cut back some of the trees, while he’s here. Mark will not see 63 if my dappled shade is hacked back.

My hair

I’m not sure what to do with it. Here’s the thing – however much money I spend on it, it’s going to be hot and floofy and sweaty and not my best look. I think I’m going to have to let it slide for a little while and maybe not see hairdresser again till the heat and humidity and steroids have calmed down a smidge.

All the above

A lot of which was actually steroids?... so it turns out that most of life at the moment revolves around how I feel about NMO and it’s effects – even when I pretend it doesn’t!

It doesn’t matter what anyone says, it’s probably going to be a year before I look in the mirror and feel like me again. Thank you to those of you who are doing your best to boost me – I do really appreciate it.

All that aside, I’m still here, I’m being treated and I should probably stop whinging. Then again, it turns out it’s a bit of a bitch of a disease. In the week after the doctors told Mark and I my diagnosis, several of them said to me on more than one occasion that they were very impressed by how well I was dealing with the fact that I had a ‘life changing illness’. To be fair, if I’d known anything about the following 10 weeks, if I’d even heard of NMO or if they’d have told me anything about what to expect, I might have dealt with it less impressively!

Other things

- you know, as well, I struggle with the fact that I still think I’m in my 30s! And now I’m moving more like a 70 year old!

- Oh – on the roller coaster? I’d got to day 12 on the nearly normal front, but then it went to custard on day 13 which was Friday.

- Maybe tomorrow will be back to day 1 again

- Still the inventory is taken before getting out of bed every morning to assess whether it’s starting off good day or a bad day.

- Still the assessment of good or bad day can be so easily turned over by the arrival or a lovely friend or a gorgeous message or, it turns out, an MS Social – who’d have guessed?

I’ve started to prattle! (STARTED to, they all cried in unison!!!)

Whatever, that’s usually a sign to pack up. I hope you got some of ‘the latest’ amongst the rubbish.

Biggest hugs – lots of love always – big snoggs xx

PS - and yes I know it's a big glass!!

NMOSD – diagnosis + 10 weeks

 NMOSD – diagnosis + 10 weeks

Well Crikey! Today is Sunday. Mark is cooking steak in the kitchen. I’m at the dining/breakfast room (constant source of conflict!) table. I’ve just cleaned up the kitchen wet bits and put out all the recycling – and I’ve just hung the washing downstairs. All the things I’d have done 15 weeks ago…

(We have now eaten dinner!)

So it’s now later and Mark is downstairs fiddling with his ‘dreamteam’ – I’m still at the table. The French doors are open and the birdsong is loud enough to drown out the dishwasher! Almost! My point above was that things are getting a bit more back to some kind of normal.

Before getting out of bed my day still starts with a mental check, an itinerary of all the bits that hurt, or hopefully don’t. At the moment, it seems to be mostly limited to waking up with a ‘burning’ back. It feels like a bad case of sunburn, but it’s manageable – even getting to the point of pleasurable in that it reminds me of holidays and sunburns long past. That said, I’m lying on my back and I know that the turn and move to sitting up before going to the bathroom will bring on the MS hug. Again, not unmanageable – but this one, not pleasant. It feels like there’s a very solid baby hanging around with a very tight corset on, that seems to move every day – and then on top of that there’s a really attractive layer of fat. Said baby, is still getting in the way of everything, including physio exercises! and also has the audacity to be uncomfortable / a bit painful! Thighs, shins, calves, feet – still feel weird! Something between tingling, pins and needles and almost numbness. And change from day to day. The move from the bed to the bathroom is probably the wibbliest part of the day, but gives me a clue as to what the rest of the day might look like! And I know that throughout the day I will get burns through my thighs and hips and all sorts of other places at the moment that I'm least expecting it!

The last 7 days have been good days. Days on which the swing is upward! There are still pins and needles in my hand, there are times when my legs really don’t want to do as directed! But, in general, 7 good days in a row. 7 days which, on the whole, have been doable. 3 of them have been in the office and the other 2 have been wfh – including my first day working from a café! This week has also included a café lunch with a gorgeous friend, evening tea date with another lovely friend and afternoon drinks (I was on tea!) date with neighbours. Yesterday I also walked back from Highbury to our place, which is 3.2K – and although there were times when I still got the finger tingles > tummy cramps > pins and needles/cramps/loss of use of my legs etc – mostly, my legs behaved and it was nice getting a proper stretch, albeit short! In fairness, there was still a lot of weaving left and right – and were it not for some righteous righting of the course, there were many times when I was heading straight for the road!

So, by and large a good week – Saturday, I even felt that I had sorted out every personal insecurity I had ever had and was secure in the knowledge of who I was, where I was in life and what I was doing. Twelve hours later sure enough, I was as insecure and confused in all those things as I ever have been before and lucky (again I say, lucky) Mark gets to deal with me. Apparently, mood swings are side effects of one of the drugs, but OMG, I swear I’ve never ever been quite so tortuously overwhelmed in such a short space of time!! Other side effects – the narcolepsy is still here!! As long as I’m upright or speaking with someone, it seems to remain at bay, but tv, computer screen, meeting or theatre it seems my eyes only have to stay focused in the same direction for about 5 minutes and my head is nodding, eyes are lolling / closed and the drooling has begun!

Mixed bag then!! Definitely getting there. Definitely less pain. Definitely more like normal.

Oh and yes – guess what the weight gain is minimalised if I eat less!! Now there’s a thing!!

So that was the NMO update…

Following on from that, some Lisa wisdom...

Have you noticed how over the years and particularly recently, nostalgia and looking backward, seems to have been given a really bad rap. It seems to be minimised? Trivialised? But my Friday morning epiphany, reminded me that as long as it's the good stuff that you’re dwelling on, this is the stuff that has made your life beautiful, and that nostalgia and a backward glance can be a really good thing.

Friday morning, I went for a little walk (2.6k), talked to a man about how we're going to get my legs working properly again, and then I sat and drank tea in the sunshine - all good positive things in the present. While I sat there, 2 little girls ran past in pink sparkly tutus and I noticed how much I’d enjoyed and how much I miss being the mum of small children. I remember the tutu age. With hair done up like sprigs of broccoli! (God knows how the mother had them out the house at 7am) but it just set me thinking to all those lovely times when my kids ran round the house in sparkly tutus and broccoli hair while I made Weetbix for breakfast - and they squealed. In fairness, Lou never had Broccoli hair and was more inclined to Mermaidom than tutus but it was a beautiful taking the moment to look backward, while my little ballerina/fairy and my mermaid are so far away!

Thing is that yes, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, but fairy costumes and broccoli hair, picnics by the beach and squealing, and friendships forged in the midst of too much alcohol and bad behaviour are all the things that made us who we are and the things that sustain us and make us laugh even on the crappy days. So that was my epiphany and my little piece of wisdom in the middle of my shitty stuff! Remember to look backwards!! Draw some joy and some strength from the fabulous bits in the past!

Day 8 underway already! At work, or rather, at café! Hoping jelly brain will start to work like my old brain again soon! Sure my boss does too!

May your Monday be wonderful! Huge hugs and big snogs.

xx

Diagnosis plus 9 weeks

Diagnosis + 9 weeks….

I kind of thought that recovery would be getting more linear by now, but instead it seems to be one of those roller coasters that pitch you around in the dark.  The kind where you don’t know whether to expect ups, downs, backwards, forwards or corkscrews.  By Sunday last weekend I had friends round for ‘tea’ (sorry about the colour Caroline!) and everything felt very normal – the pains were minimal and I was nimble as a cat putting on the kettle and fetching cups and refills etc.  My guests may not remember it as such, but in comparison to previous weeks, it was so improved and so easy that a full recovery felt bright and close.  Things declined on Monday, Tuesday and by Mark’s return from work on Wednesday I was back at the bottom, grizzling, pathetic and in tears!  

Confess that I don’t envy Mark at the moment – I’m told that mood swings are one of the side effects of one of the drugs, well lucky, lucky Mark!!  Apparently, your body becomes accustomed to the pain-relieving effects of some of the drugs, so that by Wednesday, whilst I was not quite back to 10 on the pain scale – my NMO was pins and needling, cramping and hot pokering me for all it was worth … all day from my fingers right through my lower torso and legs!  Not fun!! Anyway!  There is a plan with the MS nurse it involves a couple of days resetting, blood tests and then reviewing drug dosage!

In other NMOsd news … yeah, sadly and unexpectedly, I am not off the steroids till March! I actually cried when the MS nurse told me! Water retention on knees and ankles continues! Weight gain, huge dosages of other drugs to counteract the side effects etc….  Not happy!  And I feel sooooooo huge!  And I have soooooooo few clothes to wear!  And if I’m honest it feels like double whammy to first be thrown NMO and then to be told ‘you know that thing you’ve struggled with your whole life?  Yeah, the food thing!  The weight thing!  Yeah, now you’re going to deal with that as well as the NMO stuff too! And at the same time!  And no, comfort food is no longer and option!’  And so, no, I can no longer just take a minute to think about getting my head round eating properly and healthily, it kind of has to start right now!  And for me and for Mark (poor love is going to look like a whippet!). And I know that however well I eat, it’s probably not going to show, or make any difference for me – but I have to do it anyway or I will just keep inflating like a balloon!  Thank God I have a couple of tenty summer dresses ready for wearing in the wardrobe!! But it’s not yet summer!

On the bright side…. I am allowed a little drink!  I’m told that I can only have a drink when I’m eating – AND I will be a VERY cheap date!!  Funnily enough, in the early stages of this experience, at no point did I fancy a drink.  The thought of a bar or a party or a glass of wine was enough to make me start throwing up again… but as things have swung up on the good days, the thought of a glass of wine or a little Pimms (with a little nibble apparently) has become something that I wouldn’t decline!  So look out for Large Lisa with Glass of Wine and Bowl of Olives any time round now!!   And no, not yet in the Silver Skirt.  The Silver Skirt is waiting till I feel a bit less like a lump and until I know I can feel a little bit more like me!

And – re all the above! – YES, I know the most important thing is getting well.  I know.  I know I should speak kindlier to myself.  That will come later, but my head needs to get a bit more around it.  Once I have started eating more healthily and once my meds are settled, I’ll be a little calmer.  The booze thing – it’s fine.  It will be nice to have a little relax at the various Christmas dos etc.  And tomorrow, I’ll rise up again, before the next swoop wherever we go!

What’s lovely in this whole thing is that I’m continuing to hear from people I haven’t heard from in ages.  And connecting over teas and coffees, which has been really delightful.  

Those little resolutions for health and happiness too, are also being kept.  

- The cleaners are now well established and they’re very marvellous.  They come on time, do the cleaning and disappear all while I’m in another room.  It turns out Mark and I are cleaner and tidier than I thought, so either my cleaners need to come less regularly or I need to get better at the list of jobs that need doing.  Next visit, I think they may be on blinds and windows!  After that I think we may be on hob filters!  I think they may leave because they’ll end up doing all the crappy jobs!!  

-The other resolution I made, was around painting our hall – and today we have lovely decorator friend coming to check out the hall so that we can pay him to do a job that has sat and stared at us for about 2 years!  The theory is that a) he’ll do even a basic job better and quicker than we will and b) it will stop staring at us and Mark will be able to get on with doing all the other jobs that he has to do!  I think I made both of those resolutions while I was still in hospital the first time.

Things to note about cleaners…  everything is moved.  Not far, but just far enough that you know it’s been cleaned!  

Things to note about decorators coming in…. it would seem that getting a decorator in means that Mark has now got a huge amount of preparation to do before they start! 

Things to note about NMO symptoms keep appearing…  Along with those already noted I have a wee tremor / twitch in my hands.  Barely there, but typing, particularly on my phone, means that I regularly am tapping or double tapping the wrong answer on the quiz!  This is ok when Mark and I are playing together – less ok when we’re competing!

The narcolepsy continues.  There’s an immigration webinar which seems to be a trigger, as do some episodes of MASH!  This afternoon I did play a reasonably good game of BOGGLE!  Although Mark did win – also winning at Gin and Yahtzee!!

Well done New World for the flowers.  Pretty eh!  And did I tell you about the cup?  Well, before Becca left for Europe, she and I went to Paint the Earth and painted each other cups.  I painted her cup with my hands in the place that she holds her cup – and she painted my cup with her hands in the position that I hold mine! In fairness she was very bossy about how I painted my hands!  But I love that I got to write messages on the bottom of hers and vice versa.  Bearing in mind my lack of artistic prowess I’m not sure why this very personal way of painting had not occurred to me before, and my next foray with Boo will almost certainly involve handprints too!  

And get my pretend Hydrangeas!  Thank you, Lu!  They’re 2D card set up in 3D and I still can’t get over how 3D they look!  They will sit on my table pretending to be real Hydrangea till the Hydrangea season comes around!  And remarkably, I have more joy on the Hydrangea front! 

So, for years I’ve had 2 Hydrangeas that I bought myself, planted by the parking pad, PLUS one that Soph bought me that’s over by the fence and can be seen from the kitchen bench.  When they were planted, the 2 parking pad plants were blue, the hedge plant was pink.  Over the years, the run-off down the hill has meant that every year all 3 plants vary between pink and purple and mauve and blue – and every plant varies even on its own.  So the fence plant will have pink and purple and blue and each of the parking pad Hydrangeas will be pink and purple and blue!  Remarkably they are all the same colour as we had at our wedding!

There was a Christmas when I asked Mark for a white Hydrangea for Christmas.  Mark does not actually like Hydrangeas.  When I first met him, he was in the middle of pulling 2 huge Hydrangea plants out of his garden.  Imagine his joy when, some years later, a) (with Heidi’s help) I decided to have Hydrangeas all over our wedding and b) I started planting Hydrangeas randomly throughout our new gar.den!   Not surprisingly then, my Christmas request was met with a rebuttal!  

Becca, however, who always likes to stir things up a bit, decided that she would buy me a white Hydrangea, and it was planted between the 2 Hydrangeas by the parking pad and if we’re honest, several years back, I thought I had killed it.  Imagine my delight this morning when I noticed that without any pruning or any care, the white Hydrangea had revived!  Come back to life.  Buds blooming and ready to bust! And with white Hydrangeas, they don’t change colour with the run-off.  So I will have my blues and my pinks and my purples and my whites!  How lucky am I?!

It seems that all my news has come down to NMO, being fat, losing weight and Hydrangeas! 

Doing OK – ever so slightly P****d off with the uppy down nature of recovery but doing ok.  Honestly wishing just a little bit that I could pop back to the UK for a little visit.  Would love a proper hand hold/hug with my girl.  Would love a little visit to Spain with both my girls – and my boy tbh.  Would love a little trip to M&S, Sevenoaks, girly London lunch, girly London time full stop.  Loving all the kindness and care that I’m getting over here – but do wish that the London lovelies were just a bit closer. God I’d love a party with all my special people from both hemispheres at it!  That’ll be the 60th…  when the legs are actually working a bit better. 

Time to go – think I’m on Hello Fresh dinner tonight!!  

Love you all!  Biggest hugs all round.  Big snogs  xxx