And I am left contemplating the fact that last Sunday my Dad asked me why I hadn't updated my blog!
For those of you not aware of the irony of this fact, Dad has been computer literate for at least 15 years - or rather he has been WP literate. However, he totally abhors e-mail and is a tad distrustful of the internet. (When I say tad, read 'excessively'!) Sometime ago it occurred to me how useful it would be to invent a telephone where instead of talking, you actually typed. This thought occurred to me after having a long distance call with my Dad, who is just a smidge deaf - (when I say smidge, read 'very very'!) and the conversation was punctuated with 'pardon' and false starts and misunderstandings. Then they invented MSN Messenger, - which is a bit like a telephone with typing!... however, pathological dislike of internet, means Dad doesn't use it!
Just for the record, I am not suggesting that MSN Messenger (or any other kind of on-line chat) should replace the telephone, (can't beat hearing my lovely Dad on the phone on a Sunday night) anymore than an e-mail or a blog can replace a proper letter in an airmail envelope arriving on the Saturday morning when my girls are with their father - BUT, both have their place and can, on occasion be useful. (End of sales pitch to father!!!!!)
ANYWAY, the fact that my Dad has even read my blog is quite gobsmacking (put that one in just for you Dad!!), so for him to have noticed that I haven't updated is quite gratifying on one hand - on the other hand, it says to me that I have been a teency weency bit remiss (and yes for teency weency, please read 'a trounce'!). (Dad, love that you read my blog - and will write a proper letter soon!!)
Well that was a pre-amble and a half, and for those of you who managed to survive wading through that particular mire, hello!
Where to start? We are still in the middle of summer holidays. One more week to go and then the girls grab their sunhats and their jandals and their bulging book bags and we are back into the usual routine of things. It's actually been a rather lovely summer. The weather has been stunning - bit windy, but very very blue sky, fantastic sunsets, and the sea is that fabulous blue colour that sea is meant to be instead of murky grey / grey that you get at Bognor and Walton-on-the-Naze! (so kiwi that I can't even remember if that's how you spell "Naze"!!) So we have been spoilt with outdoor stuff.
The girls had a brilliant time in Wanaka. They came back with filthy clothes, filthy bodies and new tents! They seem to have spent some good time with Daddy and managed not to send him or Sharron mad, despite the 20 hour drive back North!! And I was quite chuffed that while they were down South they didn't go to Milford Sound, which means that I can keep it on my list of things to do with them when we get down their together.
While they were down South, Mark and I did a wee bit of camping too, we went down to the Bay of Plenty and spent 3 days doing not very much except taking in scenery, relaxing and playing Scrabble and Uno.
Yes, I am still being beaten at Scrabble fairly relentlessly - you will know when I beat Mark at Scrabble as I will probably devote a whole blog post to the match play! Judy has sent me a book of Scrabble tactics - which initially I had high hopes for, however I have only read the first couple of chapters, and it seems that if I am to beat Mark by anything other than fluke, I will need to learn several hundred 2, 3 and 4 letter words - not to mention the plethora of Q words which do not require a U! I will continue studying this tome in the vain hope that there will be a magic formula, or a chip that can be inserted into the Scrabble playing part of the brain, or that quite by chance there will be a game plan that exactly mirrors the next game that I play with Mark - otherwise, I fear I may just have to continue conceding defeat and concentrate on beating him at Uno instead - which I do very very often!!
Anyway, New Years Eve was, as predicted, quiet, but no less enjoyable for that. There was an extremely bad Karaoke competition on the Camp Site that we were staying on - fortunately it was just far enough away that all we could hear was a heavy bass - now how often are you thankful that you can hear the bass! So Mark and I looked at the stars, chatted under our gazebo and generally got rather sloppy and romantic! Not a bad way to see in the New Year.
Funny how the world turns. The end of one year and the beginning of the next is generally considered to be a time to reflect - and this year I did quite a bit of reflecting. I was thinking how my life was two years ago. At the time John was suffering depression so things weren't great, but he seemed to be coming out of it, and life was fine. The four of us, together in New Zealand - not a bad life, comfortable, quite safe, maybe a bit predictable - but I quite like security and predictability, so none the worse for that. Then I was thinking how my life was last new year. That was a scary time. 2005 looked like this huge, daunting mountain to climb - or, back to Matthews analogy this big, dark, seemingly never ending forest. I remember putting Dad and Judy on the plane and as we left the airport thinking 'Well, here we go!'. In fact 2005 turned out ok. I discovered how good my friends here are. I spent time with some lovely friends from home too. The girls thrived, we survived financially and despite swearing off men, I somehow managed to land myself a rather special one. (should mention that in a city, (or is it country?!!) where there are 40,000 less men than women in the 30 - 45 age group, I'm quite impressed that I, as a rather fat and jaded 41 year old mother of two, managed to find a man at all, let alone a nice one!) So now here we are at the beginning of another new year - quite optimistic about 2006 in some respects in other respects I am scared to the point of immobility.
Needless to say the optimism has a lot to do with Mark. We're thinking that towards the end of the year, after my divorce has gone through, and if we still like each other (!) maybe we'll get a place together - so stuff to look forward to. Then there's my new job. There's my Career counselling course and there's the confidence in the future that comes from having survived post John to this point - it took John leaving me for me to discover that I am actually quite resilient - I never realised quite how often I can be knocked down and still get up again afterwards!
And obviously the immobilising fear is largely to do with John and with recognising the fact that over the next few months there is going to be more and more confrontation as John and I separate our affairs and fight our own corners. Everytime a new battle commences - (and most of the time they start with very little warning or provocation, so that even a 'thank you' can be red rag to a bull) I feel my stomach tightening (oh that it actually would!!!!) and this awful nausea settles in, not about the actual immediate problem, but just because it seems like it is always going to be like this. I can't see the end of it. Can't see the way out of the forest - everytime I think I am getting close to the edge of it, it turns out it is just a clearing and there is still more forest the other side of it. That said, Mark is making the forest much more navigable!
Anyway - so, 2006 - we shall see! Watch this space
Oh, and of course 2006 WILL be the year I write my book - Yeah, right!!!!! God, so need to get up off my bum - or rather sit down on it, but anyway!!
I went back to work on January 4 and my new job now seems to have begun in earnest. At this stage, I seem to be learning a lot of processes and procedures, and initially I was beginning to think that I would never get to grips with it. However, three weeks in and I am quite enjoying excercising a different bit of my brain. I am now a Human Resources Assistant and I have my own portfolio of faculties and departments - which sounds far more exciting than it actually is, but hey!!
What else? Girls have nits - same the world over! Oh and me, Mark and the girls (my mother would have kittens about my grammar there!) went to Pakiri camping as well. That was a couple of weekends back. Can do the camping thing - although, I think four days is my limit! That said there is camping and there is camping! There was a whole crowd of us that went up to this site - 12 adults, 20 kids! We were last to arrive and we pitched our small dome tent (for the girls) and our large (as in 3 man) dome tent, for Mark and I, at the end of an avenue of tents all belonging to our crowd. Probably the best comparison would be that the far end of the avenue was rather like Mayfair, our end was a bit like Tooting Broadway (note I didn't say Bec!) - Malcolm and Kerry, (very kiwi, very lovely, totally heroic friends!) were in the camping equivalent of the Dorchester. They had a bed (not camp bed - real bed!!!), seating for 6 and a fridge freezer!!!!!! I jest not! Three other of our tents also had fridges! I was so excited by my big ice box before we left Birkenhead - then we moved in next to the Jones's! (Louise, Daniel, Courtney and Bradley Jones to be precise!!) We, I think, were in the camping equivalent of dome tents!
Anyway - the big gang of us meant the girls had a fantastic time. Becca had only just bothered to learn to ride her bike without the stabilisers, and was chuffed as punch to discover that she wasn't the only one to take her bike with her. Very happy children! Quite tired by the time they came home though. The beach at Pakiri was absolutely stonking (another one for you Dad!) too. Long, deep, empty and beautiful white sand. Saturday afternoon Lou and I spent a couple of hours diving through huge great rollers - which was probably my best bit of the weekend. Not often I get to have little special moments with one of my girls. Oh, and Mark beat me at Scrabble again!
I'm not sure I've told you half of what is happening over here - but seem to have waffled fairly extensively. And it's getting late, so I'm going to bugger off now. Hopefully my pool playing kiwi will poll in for a snog or two shortly and I will have a grin on my face as big as the sky!
Will go and reread last blog and see what else I was meant to be catching you up on and will blog again soon, promise!
Night night xxxxx
1 comment:
Your writing your book every time you update.
All ourlove.
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